


Shaken.

by Mystrothedefender



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:39:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27515452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystrothedefender/pseuds/Mystrothedefender
Summary: Something triggers Edward at an inconvenient time.
Relationships: Harvey Dent/Edward Nygma
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Shaken.

Edward had never really known what it was, the panic that filled him occasionally. He hadn’t been sure what caused it. Sometimes in mid conversation it’d happen, or while watching tv, or…

He’d find himself panicked, scared, his heart racing, his temper overflowing from him. He did stupid things when that happened.

He’d initially accepted it as just… part of who he was.

During his first stint at Arkham while the doctors tried to psychoanalyse him (it hadn’t worked, of course, Edward was too smart for that, he could easily trick the doctors into thinking what he wanted them to think) one of them had mentioned something. Ed had brushed it off at the time, but their description had stuck with him, the words rolled around his head at night as if they were important.

So, he looked into it, just in case that troglodyte in Arkham did happen to have a working brain cell and was onto something.

Eventually he figured out what it was that triggered his panic attacks and fits of rage (figured it out faster than any Arkham doctor could, of course) certain words or phrases, the horn of a certain model of old car, the way the shadow of a metal trash can looked at midnight in the winter.

He worked on coping mechanisms for himself, and he slowly felt himself getting better. Sometimes he was able to stop himself from doing stupid things.

Except for when Batman did it.

At first he hadn’t been sure why Batman was such a problem for him, but he soon realised it was his stature, it reminded Edward of his father…

The same was true of Harvey, Edward realised a little too late into their first date.

The word was like a knife into his chest. He felt his temper flare and struggled to hold himself down.

He raised his hand to his throat, pressing his thumb softly to his neck, feeling his pulse. It was far too fast. He needed to calm down.

He closed his eyes, and forced himself to breathe slowly.

Breathe in.

“One…”

Breathe out.

“Two…”

Breathe in.

“Three…”

“Uh…” Harvey growled out, the sound making the heat in Edward’s head grow stronger. “Edward?”

Edward tightened his grip on his own throat, screwing his eyes shut so tight it hurt.

“Are you ok? Is something wrong?”

“Shut up!” Edward heard himself snap, his vision flashing white. He had gotten to his feet, and he was holding his chair like he was ready to throw it.

He forced a deep breathe and took his hands from the chair.

“I need a moment,” he said, his voice shaking as much as his body was. “Don’t follow me,” he ordered.

“Ed?!” Harvey shouted after him as he turned to leave. “For fuck’s sake!”

Edward heard the scrape of chair legs on the wooden floor, and he felt his panic rise higher in him. “Don’t follow me!” Edward screeched, his ears ringing, his body shaking.

He marched into the bathroom and locked himself in one of the stalls. He hated public bathrooms, but he needed somewhere confined where he felt safe.

He closed his eyes again and forced himself to slow his breathing, doing the exercises he had found to work.

Slowly he felt his heartbeat slow, felt his temper temper.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting in the stall, usually his cool down time was about 30 minutes, but he hoped it hadn’t been that long. He hoped Harvey hadn’t left.

He left the stall and looked in the mirror, straightening his green button up, wiping his face. He looked exhausted. He wanted to just go home and go to sleep after that…

Maybe he could just sneak out, if Harvey hadn’t left. But that would be rude and Edward was not a rude man, especially not to people he liked, who although famously impatient had been patient enough to wait for him to ride out a panic attack.

He walked towards the table, trying to be at least moderately stealthy, peering round to see if Harvey was still there. He wasn’t surprised to see that he wasn’t, although he was a little disappointed.

More than a little disappointed, his heart sank, and he felt a swell of upset in him again. He really liked Harvey and Edward had… No, it wasn’t his fault, Edward hadn’t done anything wrong, Harvey should have waited for an explanation.

At least now he didn’t have to explain, explaining was exhausting and he was already drained. He could go home and sleep off his mood and call Harvey later.

Edward slunk out of the restaurant and towards his car. His eyes instantly affixed to the figure leaning against the hood.

Harvey’s eyes set on him as he approached. “They started bugging us to give up our seats, I had to come out and get some air or I was going to…” he shook his head, “Do something.”

Edward let out a soft understanding grunt. He didn’t really want to speak, he’d gotten the idea of going home and going to sleep in his head.

“Did I upset you?” Harvey asked, his voice blunt.

Edward felt a shudder run through him at the thought of having to explain. He shrugged, forcing himself to speak. “Not really I…” Now he’d begun to speak he realised he didn’t really know the right way to put it. He’d never explained it to anyone before. “Sometimes… some things that people say to me make me very angry, or upset, it doesn’t mean that I’m angered or upset by that person, it’s the specific words they use.”

Harvey nodded, “I know what a trigger is, Edward. I’ve been in therapy for the majority of my life.”

“Oh,” Edward nodded, feeling the tension in him soften a little, “Of course.”

Harvey got so wrapped up in himself sometimes that it was easy to forget how smart he was, he was once Gotham district attorney after all, not usually a position you can get to without having at least a few more IQ points than average.

“Was it-“ Harvey cut himself off and huffed softly, “The ‘c’ word I said?”

Edward felt his skin crawl at the mere suggestion of it. He swallowed hard and nodded. It was very intuitive of Harvey to have figured it out so quickly.

“Ok. I’ll try my hardest to never say that word in front of you again.”

He sounded so sincere Edward couldn’t help but smile. “Thankyou. But you know there are others.”

Harvey nodded. “Send me a list later, I’ll do my best to avoid them.”

“You’re willing to do homework to help me feel comfortable?” Edward asked sceptically, crossing his arms.

“I’ll send you a list of mine too,” Harvey added, nodding again. He let out a soft breath, “We work well together, Edward, I’d like for us to work closely in the future, and I’m willing to put effort in for that.”

The smile on Edward’s face hardened slightly, his eyes drifting over Harvey’s face. “Thankyou,” he said with an affirming nod, “I agree with you. We do work well together, I enjoy your company.”

Harvey smiled weakly, “Ok, well, I’m glad to hear that. Uh,” he shifted on his feet, clearing his throat awkwardly. “We didn’t get to finish our meal.”

Edward shook his head, not wanting to be rude but not wanting to push himself like that, “I’m not really hungry anymore.”

“I thought you might not be. Why don’t we meet back up tomorrow morning? I could bring coffee?” Harvey suggested, his tone understanding and soft in a way that made Edward a little uneasy. He wasn’t used to people being understanding and soft.

“Ok, good idea,” Edward agreed. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”


End file.
